Over the last couple of years, I have noticed a trend that is costing couples more on their wedding days. And that is the trend of wanting to take care of their guests in every possible way. I’ve seen couples and parents willing to stretch themselves thin financially because it is important to throw the party of a lifetime for their guests. New’s flash ya’ll, some of the things that you go above and beyond for, for your guests are going unnoticed by them.

We’ve created this culture in the wedding industry that everyone needs to be taken care of. Every item has to be well-thought out and serve a purpose. We’ve told people that they have to take care of their guests in every possible way, and honestly, it’s just not true. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some things that absolutely affect the guest experience, but there are some things that will not be missed by your guests if you don’t incorporate it into your wedding day! Today, I’m reviewing the 3 items that will go unnoticed by your guests and 3 must-haves that will affect your guest experience.

So let’s dive into what your guest actually really care about: 

1. Food & Beverage

Y’all the one golden rule of weddings is feed people and make sure they have a drink in their hand! My husband and I always say we are happy to wait for hours at a restaurant as long as we have a cold drink in our hand. This goes for weddings too! How many times have you attended a wedding and not eaten because you knew that the wedding was taking place around dinner and you knew there would be lots of food? I’m personally guilty of this! If you are having an evening wedding, please make sure that you have a bar with at least beer and wine available to your guests and food that will not only fill your guests up, but that will keep them full throughout the festivities of the night.

Photo: Kir 2 Ben

 

2. The Timeline

I know you are probably thinking to yourself, what? But this one is so important, yet so many couples overlook it. Ensuring you have a decent timeline of events from start to finish and actually sticking to that timeline is what will determine whether your guests have a good time or a bad time at your wedding. You will want to ensure that your events throughout your wedding day flow nicely. You don’t want to have too much time where your guests are just sitting around with nothing to do, or they might want to head for the exit. But you also don’t want there to be so much going on that guests can’t keep up. Over the last couple of years, we have come up with a pretty easy timeline to follow that will have your guests enjoying every aspect of your event. Here is a little example:

30-minute ceremony

1-hour cocktail

15 minutes to transition your guests from cocktail hour to reception and grab their escort cards, use the bathroom, etc.

Reception Starts: 

5 minutes for your wedding introductions

3 minutes for your first dance

1-minute blessing before dinner

45 minutes for dinner, BUT during dinner, allow your speeches to start one the main course has been provided. If doing a buffet, allow at least 60% of your guests to get through the linen before you start the speeches.

After Dinner: 

3-5 minutes for mother/son & father/daughter dance

30-45 minutes dancing for guests

10-15 minutes for cake cutting, serving of the cake/coffee service & bouquet/garter toss (if doing one). Also, keep in mind that you can keep things going while your cake is being served. The guests who want to sit and eat cake will, while the guests who want to keep dancing will.

45-60 minutes, more dancing for guests

If doing a late night snack, do it around 45-60 minutes after your cake cutting

Dance for about 30 more minutes and then end the evening

Grand Exit

Photo: Luke and Ashley Photography

 

3. The Entertainment

Even if you aren’t a dancer, you don’t want to be bored out of your mind with listening to a sub-par DJ or band who is tone-deaf. The DJ or the band is what drives the event! Having someone MC the evening who knows what they are doing will keep your guests excited for the party and have them out on the dance floor and participating in the festivities. While this can be one of the bigger expenses outside of the food and beverage, we promise you it does matter and will make a difference to your guests!

Photo: Luke and Ashley Photography

Now that we’ve covered the items that truly matter to your guests, let’s talk about the three things that will not dictate whether your guests enjoy your wedding or not:

 

1.Providing Transportation

I know, I know, I just blew your mind! But seriously, this is a luxury item! It’s definitely something that will make the guest experience great if you do provide it, however, no one will complain or be upset if you don’t provide it. While we do think that you should provide parking information if you aren’t providing your guests with a way to get there, we don’t think that the transportation itself is necessary. Transportation can cost couples thousands to get their guests from point a to point b. What many couples don’t understand is that you pay per hour for the shuttles, whether you use them or not. If you have it in your budget, then absolutely feel free to provide shuttles for your guests, but if you are trying to find things to cut, this is the item that we tend to recommend cutting. Remember, guests don’t miss what they don’t have. And with Ubers, Taxi’s and so many new shuttle services available that guests can purchase on their own, your guests won’t be left in the dark trying to find a way to your event.

Photo: Sarah Nice Photography

 

2. Providing Hotel & Room Blocks

Let me clarify! For out of town guests who are coming into town, we think it is great to offer options of hotels that you would recommend that are within proximity to your wedding venue(s). However, actually providing hotels with “special rates” provided by you, are not necessary (unless it is a holiday weekend when all hotels will be sold out). A lot of couples don’t know this, but many hotels will require attrition. This means that you will be held responsible for the rooms that you don’t book and have to pay for a certain percentage of those rooms. And those “special rates” that you are provided with, most of the time are higher than what the guests could book their room for if they were to book their room on their own. We also find that guests typically have their preference of hotel chains when they are traveling. More often than not, guests will have points that they can use towards a certain hotel chain that reduces their cost to stay and they will stay outside of the room blocks you provide for that reason. Bottom line, it’s a nice gesture but again, it’s not something that will be missed if you don’t provide guests with a block of rooms to choose from. Just remember, to write out a list of options your guests can look into on their own for those not familiar with the area.

Photo: Whole Heart Studios

 

3. Providing hotel gift bags 

This one kind of kills me to say, but I have to tell you it’s true. This again is a luxury item. We have seen some pretty incredible hotel gift bags! And I have to admit, when I have gone to my room after attending a wedding and I’m thirsty and would do anything for water and I see that gift bag on the floor with a huge bottle of water sticking out, my life is made. But, if that gift bag wasn’t on the floor, I probably could have figured something out. This is the one item that I find stresses brides out so much! This is because it takes not only a lot of money to create a super cute gift bag, but it takes a lot of coordination to figure out who is staying where, how many people are in the room and let’s not even mention how long it takes to put the bags together and deliver them to each hotel. It’s an added stress that has to be taken care of within the last two weeks leading up to your wedding. And honestly, other than your couple of College friends who need that hangover medicine or water in the middle of the night, a lot of times, guests take the bags home with them or leave them behind in their hotel room. The bottom line on this is if you want to do them and it’s in your budget, go for it girl! But if you are doing it because you feel like it’s “the right thing to do,” don’t do it.

Photo: AJ Dunlap Photography

 

Remember, while you want your guest experience to be an incredible one, you don’t have to kill yourself or break the bank trying to keep up with what you think would be nice vs. what would actually be missed if you don’t incorporate it into your wedding day!